One morning recently, my oldest daughter and I were having our weekend morning coffee together time. We talk, share, and lament the lack of sleep one or both of us had the previous night. This particular morning we decided to get on the ferry and head to a beach where you can find shark teeth. I should probably amend that statement and say that my daughter would find shark teeth and I would spend all the time looking and leave completely empty-handed. It’s just how it is…I don’t know why because I’m really good at word searches and Where’s Waldo stuff. I just can’t seem to find those little teeth as much as I try.

This particular morning, we arrived a little later than planned for optimum shark teeth hunting, but it was still a beautiful day and we are always up for an adventure. We walked down to the beach and began our hunt. We didn’t find any shark teeth which honestly was a bit shocking considering my daughter’s track record. I, on the other hand, wasn’t surprised by my lack of success, but I did find some beautiful shells and I decided that I was okay with those.

It’s a little like my life. I can safely say that life hasn’t been exactly what I thought it would be. Many of the things I want and even some of the things I think I need, God hasn’t given. Although, He has given other things.

If I can get my head and my heart to rest and truly believe that He loves me completely and perfectly, I can also rest in the knowledge that what I have is enough. 

What He provides is perfect. 

What He withholds is also perfect. 

That second sentence is a difficult one to believe sometimes…and even a little hard to write. 

If I write it and publish this blog then I’m truly saying I believe it. 

I believe that even what God doesn’t provide for me is perfect for me.

I’ve had this conversation with my children too because when God says “no” or “wait” they feel like He doesn’t really love them. Sometimes the things they pray for seem like normal things that surely God wants for them too. Like friends. Like healing. And yet, things don’t happen. 

Believing God is perfect, sovereign, and good means I trust that unanswered prayers are perfect too. God loves me when He says “no” just as much as when He says “yes”. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, particularly when it seems as though there have been more “no”s than “yes”s. 

One thing I’ve noticed, like finding those shells, is that I can still find beauty in a season of no’s. I can live grateful even when God withholds what I dearly long for and what I feel like I desperately need. 

It just takes a moment to breathe deeply and pray thankfully. To look around with eyes open and searching for God’s goodness and mercy. It can be found.

This week, I prayed that God would give me a testimony of thankfulness. To be totally honest, I prayed it a bit manipulatively because I wanted answered prayers BUT God has answered, not exactly as I had hoped, but how He has answered!

I had a good conversation with a daughter struggling. Another daughter got an 88 on a science test that had caused tears and loss of sleep the night before. I enjoyed a lovely evening of fellowship with friends. I have been blessed with wonderful colleagues at my new job. I had a great text conversation with my two sons about an interesting faith topic. We didn’t totally agree on it but it was amazing!  Out of the blue, a kind and generous friend offered to purchase a lawnmower because mine chops rather than cuts my grass. I got an unexpected hug and prayer from a stranger at Panda Express (that one is going to get its own blog soon). Those are just the things that came to mind real quick…I know there were more.

God knew what I truly needed, not just what I wanted or thought I needed.

Those were shells in my hand…not what I was looking for exactly, but beautiful nonetheless.