On a recent afternoon, my youngest daughter and I took a walk by the river (above picture). It was beautifully serene and peaceful. My chest ached with a longing to be that peaceful…to be quiet inside.
I shared with my daughter how I longed to feel the way the water looked.
She said, “Momma, why don’t you just sit still, be quiet, and think?”
I told her that when I try to be still my thoughts crash together in my head and I can’t seem to quiet them.”
My thoughts are fidgety.
She said that I should try to just be in that moment. Think about how beautiful it is – what the water looks like…what the air smells like…what I hear and see and feel.
And thank God for it all.
Once again God has used one of my children to point me to Himself.
I’ve been in a long season of things being a bit heavy and hard. Sometimes I’m shaky in my confidence that God has a good plan for me. I know He does. I know it. But sometimes everything can feel awfully heavy and absolutely nothing seems easy…hasn’t for a while.
And I wonder what God’s plan could possibly be…because I’m pretty weary of the one I’ve been living out.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I don’t know if I can adequately express how desperately I long for rest…physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I need rest almost as much as I need oxygen…at least it feels that way.
“Come to me…”
I hear Him whisper it to me. Imploring me to drop the to-dos, the regrets, the fears and worries, and the lists of should’s so I can simply rest with Him. It’s hard to be quiet in my head and heart. To feel peace in my deepest parts.
Sometimes I wonder if all my broken parts are letting my peace leak out. I can’t seem to grab it firmly. Probably because my hands are full holding all the pieces of me together…I have no grip left for peace.
“Come to me, Dearest. I know you are burdened and carrying things that are too heavy for you to bear..”
I’m carrying too much. Too much sorrow. Too much fear. Too much regret. Too much heartbreak. Too much to do and think about.
I’m trying to control too much.
God wants me to drop it all at His feet. Lay it all down. Put it down. Just let go.
Oh, but that sounds hard. What will happen if I let it all go? Will everything fall apart? Will I fall apart?
“Come here, my love. Let’s deal with that heavy burden you are carrying. Rest here with me.”
I keep looking for peaceful circumstances. That has not been my story. The quiet moments I do get are really difficult to rest in. My thoughts race. My sleep is fitful. My heart is heavy.
I’m constantly looking for a way to make this life less difficult. Seeking solutions.
But God’s word doesn’t say anything about seeking solutions, but it does say to seek peace. (Psalm 34:14) Actually, seek it AND pursue it.
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:14
Don’t just look for it! Go find it! With the understanding that God absolutely will provide it.
In fact, He already has.
Jesus, who is my peace, guarantees my peace no matter the turbulence I face in this world.
For he himself is our peace… Ephesians 2:14
So why is it so dang hard for me to find it, feel it, rest in it?
Probably because I’m always trying to fix things, change things, make things better on my own .
God says, “Hey Sweet One, I told you don’t worry about anything! I’m right here with you. Just talk to me. Share your thoughts and concerns. Find the blessings and be thankful. Don’t just focus on all the crazy. There is more than the crazy…open your eyes to the blessings and be thankful. Share it all with me. And I promise there will be a peace that will shock you. You will find it, feel it, and rest in it! Dearest, I have you in the palm of my hand and you are mine!” (Philippians 4:6-7)
I can seek peace instead of seeking peaceful circumstances by choosing to seek Him and pursue Him.
There is a spot by the river waiting for me to sit still and just be with Jesus. To let go of the concerns and to-do lists. To take my eyes off the fears about the future and put them on Him. To reflect on the beauty of gentle waves lapping on a little pebble-filled beach. To hear birds chirping songs given to them by their Creator. To breathe deeply of the fresh air, to feel it filling my lungs with the song of praise given to me by my Father.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4