There is a piece of paper I taped to the window in front of my desk that says, “Be Brave Enough to Disappoint” because I’m a people pleaser. Someone who breathes for affirmation. Someone who seeks love and acceptance probably a little like a crazy person. 

I’ll do almost anything to make someone else feel good, happy, welcome, loved, and appreciated. For them because I truly do care, but also so that there might be a chance I receive those things in return.

I have an extreme longing to be loved, affirmed, and chosen, which can make me prone to not keeping firm boundaries – that’s a word I’ve heard over the years and a lot recently. And, if I’m honest, not one I’ve practiced well or sometimes at all.

To have and keep boundaries, you need to be brave. 

Brave enough to disappoint or even potentially cause some pain for someone. Neither of those things is in my wheelhouse. But boundaries can provide security, safety, and peace. 

A lot of my struggle revolves around how people feel and think about me. And, if I’m being completely honest, about how I think people feel and think about me.

The problem with not wanting to disappoint others is that eventually, you get worn out from doing and working and pleasing, and that can lead to feelings of hurt, anger, and sadness. 

And sometimes, when I don’t set boundaries, I cross boundaries. God-given boundaries. 

God’s boundaries are set in good places. Safe places. Secure places. Blessed places. 

Boundary-busting behavior isn’t necessarily scandalous or dangerous, but it can definitely open the door to both.

I used to tell my children that safety is found in obedience. If you listen and obey, you will be safe and secure. When my three oldest children were little, dangerous people were targeting random people in our area. I remember sitting my little people down and saying, “If Mommy says, get down or get in the car fast, you need to obey immediately.” And, my wide-eyed sweethearts nodded, not knowing truly why, although I believe they understood the importance.

I believe God’s word is like that. God wants us to obey…shows us the importance of obedience…through the verses we read and the stories showing the results of obedience and disobedience alike.

He is saying to us in so many ways, “Dearest, listen to me. Obey me. Stay within the boundary lines I have established so you can be near Me, safe and blessed.”

I have a friend who has property that someone is encroaching on quite blatantly. There are laws that say you shouldn’t, but also laws that say if you do and stay there long enough, you might actually get to keep the land. I wonder if that doesn’t apply to crossing God’s boundaries. If we step out of His land into places we don’t belong, eventually, those out-of-boundary places feel like places we do belong. We begin to own those places and no longer know our true home. 

Stepping over the boundaries might look like me trying to take control of things instead of letting God lead. It might look like doing when I should be waiting. It might mean settling for good instead of God’s best. It might mean ignoring the ways out of temptation He provides. It might mean seeking peace and comfort from something or someone other than God. And it might mean settling into places I don’t belong. Places where I’m focused on other things rather than God. Places where I get away from settling in next to my Savior. 

Crossing boundaries might mean trying to please someone more than God.

Being brave is trusting God to be enough for me. Knowing that I have no business trying to please others more than Him. I can be brave enough to obey even when it means I will disappoint others. I can be brave enough to stay within His boundaries because I trust God has placed and kept me in a safe place.

Be brave. Trust God.