Would you rather trust?

path through the forestThe other day at bed, my littlest girl and I prayed a bold prayer for a contract on our home…that night.  She doubts God right now.  She doesn’t see things changing…she doesn’t see God working. We all really need something to change soon, but God doesn’t seem to be changing anything right now.

I wanted God to do something amazing that night…I’d even have taken the next day.  In fact, I thought it probably would be the following day.

Unfortunately, it didn’t happen.  And the “somewhat interested” response from the people who looked at my house caused my faith to wobble a bit.

See I’ve been reading a book that has encouraged me to pray big prayers so I can see God answer in big ways…and I’m all for praying big prayers…but I’m wondering if I pray big prayers for big answers, am I also praying big prayers understanding that God might not answer in a big way?  His gentle and loving answer might be something like, “Not yet.”

But I will be honest and tell you that I am tired of the “not yet” answer…and the “no” answer…I’d like a “yes”.  But even as I say that I know that some of the nos and not yets have been the very best answers to my prayers.  And I do trust Him to answer perfectly.

Argh!  But I so want to get out of this situation…when I’ve used the word “desperately” to describe something in the past I don’t believe I’ve understood it as deeply as I do now…I desperately want to be released from this place God has me and my children.  I don’t want to be here anymore.  But I also don’t want to force it and end up in a place I’ll eventually desperately not want to be either.

I’d rather trust God.

That’s huge.  Because right now, I can tell you I’ve had some conversations with God…and they haven’t all be holy.

But when given the alternative of figuring things out without Him, I’d rather trust God.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

When faced with decisions and dilemmas in this life, I’d rather trust God.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  Therefore for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.  Hebrews 12:11-13

When I’m trying to raise my children to love and honor Him, I’d rather trust God.

All your children shall be taught by the LORD, and great shall be the peace of your children.  Isaiah 54:13

When I’m exhausted and weary with nothing left to give, I’d rather trust God.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10

When I have no idea which way to turn, I’d rather trust God.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Psalm 23:1-3

No matter how strongly I feel that I know what would be best, I’d rather trust God.

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.  2 Thessalonians 3:5

Oh, how I need my heart directed.  This has been an exceedingly difficult time…and sometimes I don’t think others can quite understand the challenges.  I don’t think I’m necessarily doing it with the grace I’d hoped, but the Lord continues to meet me where I am.  He continues to love me through my doubts, fears, and faltering faith.  He continues to be faithful.  I do trust that He will guide my family, that he is a shield about me, that he is my refuge and strength.

I do trust that He will enable me to do this life well…even when it feels anything but wonderful.

And I do trust Him for the sale of my house and the purchase of our next home.

But most importantly, I trust that He will reveal Himself to my littlest girl in just the right way at just the right time.  That I don’t need to orchestra things to convince my daughter of His love, faithfulness, and existence!  He will handle that…I just need to love on her and pray.

So tonight, as I lay my head down on my pillow, I will be praying for my children and their faith and for me to trust Him without hesitation….and for a buyer for my house!

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9 Comments

  1. My heart hurts with you for the unknown most people have gone thu times where the unknown has left us wondering

    I am encouraged with your expression of trusting even in the unknown
    what we also know is the Holy Spirit is interceding on our behaft so our prayers are being presented to the Father it even says he is goaning for us

    Romans 8:18-28
    you are choosen God has redeemed you
    you are living your destiny and for eternity God will be Glorified

  2. I have recently been where you are. I have searching for God’s will and what he wants me to do. Sometimes what we need is to just give into our hunger for God and worship and praise him. Humble yourself before the Lord. Become more Christlike.
    Look are other options, just in case there is another door that is there for you that the Lord has opened for you and just have not seen it yet.
    Praying “Big Prayers” does not always mean that you are praying God’s will. ‘Not my will but Thine’s be done”

  3. What I have experienced in these moments is that I prayed the BIG prayer then sat back and waited (what I interpretated as waiting in faith)! But I have come to realize that in my waiting I was directing God, I had not completely let go….because if I had prayed and let go I would NOT be expecting MY answer to my prayer….instead I would be allowing HIM to PROVIDE the answer! So now I tell God how I am feeling, what is troubling me and why, then I lay it at His feet, I give HIM my problem, my desires, and let HIM decide or bring me the solution, and EVERY SINGLE TIME HIS SOLUTION or answer has been EVEN BETTER than any I could’ve come up with….maybe He wants us to stay where we are because there are lessons to learn, people to reach out to that do not know Him, or the solution is still not in place yet?!

    I will pray for you and your children that will give you the strength to let go of the answers to your need and that He will fill you resolve to endure, patience to wait, and faith to trust HIM for the best answer to your heart’s desires!! HE WILL NOT FAIL YOU He loves us too much to give us the quick answer to apease us rather then the best answer to bless us! ((((HUGS)))) and prayers!

  4. Hello,

    I originally saw this article on Charisma magazine online. First off let me say that I am married, so I guess that might make a difference here, although hopefully not, because this article touched me and hit a nerve and I’d really like to share some hope with you:)
    Over 3 years ago – about 3.5, to be exact – we moved out of our home and in with my parents. The reasons are private, but they were extreme enough to warrant a move. We put our house up for sale and figured that, in following The Lord’s direction, our house would sell – just like that.
    Didn’t happen.
    Over the past 3.5 years, we have learned a lot of things. The biggest thing we learned is that if we had sold our house right away and moved into a new house right away, we would have missed out on a lot of lessons that God wanted to teach us, lessons that matured us in our faith in Him and also in our marriage and in our relationships with our kids. We learned better how to manage our finances, make decisions together, pray together and for each other, and on and on and on. And during the past two years, the biggest lesson of all that we have learned is how to trust God for what looks to be the impossible. Over and over I have quoted Psalm 37:25-26: “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread. They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.” (NIV) There were so many times when I didn’t know how we were going to make it – and I (we both) learned that for all our worrying, God always knew and He always, always had a plan already in place to provide. All we had to do was pray, trust, and wait.
    Our house finally sold – in God’s timing, when we had finally learned to lay it all down at His feet, surrender to the will of His timing, and let Him take charge.
    Let me encourage you today that, no matter what your circumstances, God has a plan. He’s had it for a long time, and He has it all figured out. And you tell your little ones this, just like we told ours. We have three, and it wasn’t easy for them to always understand, either. But no matter what, we encouraged them and set an example for them by always giving God the glory – NO MATTER WHAT. I am not saying that I never cried or complained or begged why. Nobody’s perfect. But miracles don’t always happen right away. Sometimes they take time – God’s time.

  5. Hi Sue! I know what you are going through…as I am in the same boat! It seems to be a leaky boat, or better yet, the boat that the disciples were in during the horrific storm on the sea when Jesus was there with them…but sleeping! The disciples were beside themselves with anxiety and fear while faced with dire circumstances, and they wanted God to do SOMETHING! They tried to wake Him, and if Jesus was a sound sleeper, I imagine it irked them terrible when Jesus just mumbled something and went back to snoring. But you are doing something that they did not. You are trusting Him while riding out the storm. While it appears He is sleeping, you are choosing to believe He will see you safely through to the other side. And to use your words “That’s huge.”

    My parents still live just North of Richmond, and when I’m up there next maybe we’ll get a Krispy Kreme doughnut, and see if that sweet smell will wake Him up or bring out the sun! 🙂

    Stay strong in the Faith,
    Dan

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