Up To My Toes – Learning to Walk on the Water in the Midst of Life’s Storms

At first glance it might seem like it should read “up to my nose.” That makes more sense – I’m up to my nose in issues, challenges, difficulties, laundry, dishes, clutter, and children. BUT that’s not what I want for me. That’s not what I want for anyone. What I want is to focus on the Lord and not on all the junk in my life.

That doesn’t mean that I ignore the millions of things on my to-do list or that I live in a state of denial about the circumstances of my life. It means that I choose joy. I choose to have the perspective that God can use even this ridiculous life of mine for good.

So let me introduce myself…

I’m Sue – single mom to 5 kids ages 4 to 17. I have been all kinds of mommas — stay-at-home mom, working mom, homeschool mom, foster mom, adoptive mom, and now single mom.

My single mom journey began about 3 years ago when my husband jumped ship. I was completely ambushed by his adultery. I fought hard for my marriage and family, but unfortunately I’d lost it before I knew there was even a problem. There’s part of me that’s glad I was blissfully unaware of his issues and thought we were happily married. I had a 17 year long happy marriage – that’s something to be thankful for.

I hope to share about how God brought us through and cared for us – my children and me. It’s been a stormy trip but we are hanging on, growing stronger and heading in the right direction.

The word that most accurately describes me is overwhelmed (and, depending on what I’m overwhelmed by – that can be a good or bad thing).

I could describe some other things in my world too.

My house is sticky.

My life is messy.

My family is beautiful.

It has taken me a little while to get to the point of being able to say that this broken family is beautiful, but I am so there. Broken implies that there is something that needs to be fixed…actually that word best describes my car and parts of my house…but I hesitate to use it to describe my family.

We are wounded, scarred, bruised and battle weary, but we are not broken.

My children and I struggle…we definitely each have our issues (pretty sure I have the most), but in the midst of the chaos we have found a peace and preciousness that I don’t think we would’ve been able to comprehend apart from the hurting.

It’s challenging to live this single mom life…I desperately want to be a godly woman, but so often I’m just an overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted woman. Reality conflicts with my vision for my family.

I’m determined to put on my big girl pants and just do it…just live this life. So that is my hope for this blog, that we will just live this life together…the beautiful, the difficult, the challenging, and the hopeful. That throughout the minutes…the seconds of the day…we will seek joy.

I hope you’re okay that I’m gonna share lots of stuff — the calm water and the hurricanes. I’m gonna do my best to be real about my personal struggles and my thoughts on dealing with divorce, adultery, abandonment, single parenting and all the issues that collide in our lives because of those blasted things.

My hope is that we have fun even as we hold on for dear life! Our ankles might get wet at times, our knees might feel a splash, and we might find some tears in our eyes, but Dearest, we will keep returning our gaze to Jesus and know that He will do beautiful things in our lives and our families.

In His Care,

Sue

5 responses to “Up To My Toes – Learning to Walk on the Water in the Midst of Life’s Storms”

Kelly List

Mar 6, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Sue, just found your blog through the Keeping it
Real link. Your writing style is so “real” and refreshing. I love it.
Just a note about me: my husband has MS and has been severely depressed for 3 years. I feel like I have been functioning as a single mom during this time but also learning how to be a caregiver for an ill spouse.
I’ve had so many similar thoughts and feelings as you during this roller coaster ride. Being able to go into my prayer closet and pour it all out to my Heavenly Father is the only way I haven’t slid into despair with my husband. And choosing joy every day!
Well, I have to get ready for work (another blessing from GOD but certainly not what I thought I wanted.). I wil be reading your blog and leaving comments. And praying for you!
Blessings,
Kelly

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1. uptomytoes
  
  Mar 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm
  
  Kelly,
  
  Thank you so very much for sharing. I will be marching on my knees for your family. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to care for your husband dealing with illness and your children just being children! – it must be exhausting on so many levels. I will pray for God to bless you with His peace that passes all our understanding, that you will find joy even in all the challenges, that you will have time to truly rest – physically, emotionally and spiritually, that your children will find their strength in Jesus, and that God will work mightily in your husband’s life. I wish I could offer something more – but I’m finally figuring out that praying for someone is THE BEST thing I can do. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and your prayers! God totally used you to bless me this morning!!
  In His Care,
  Sue
  
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Danta

May 7, 2013 at 12:40 am

Sue-last May my husband left and moved in with the woman with whom he’d been having an affair. Our divorce was final one month before our 18th wedding anniversary. I have three beautiful children ages 11, 8, and 16 months. I found a copy of your book last summer and read it in one evening and wept over your loss and mine which are very similar. Tonight I stumbled across your blog and its been such an encouragement. God has held us and provided for every need this past year. I am certain of His faithfulness. I wanted you to know your story was a light to me in great darkness and pain. I’m praying for you tonight.

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1. Sue Birdseye
  
  May 7, 2013 at 1:06 pm
  
  Your comment really blessed me. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m grateful that God used me to encourage you. It’s amazing how God does that – uses us even when we are broken and hurting to bless one another. Just like you encouraged me with your comment. I’m praying that God will continue to comfort you with His peace during this difficult time. Thank you again. In His Care, Sue
  
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Lara Lynn

Jan 1, 2016 at 11:48 am

I’m thankful that I found your blog on 1/1/16. Your list of what kind of moms you’ve been is eerily similar to mine except I would have to substitute ‘military wife/mom’ for ‘working mom’. All of the other categories match exactly. I also have 5 kids. My marriage lasted 8 years longer and I knew about adultery along the way but was committed to “until death do us part”. I wasn’t a perfect, in any way, mom, wife or person, but committed nonetheless. He ended it. It was over (two weeks ago) just 13 days short of 26 years, but it doesn’t feel over. God has a plan, but this is the loneliest thing I’ve ever through. Thanks for your encouragement.

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