uptomytoes

Category: Suffering

  • Everything Uphill

    I just got off the phone. I was praying with a friend about this life that is feeling very hard. She is such a dear friend. She knows the life I’ve lived for the past ever so many years and she prayed, “Lord, it just seems like everything is an uphill battle.”   And I felt…

  • Life on the Stump

    There once was a glorious old oak tree that, for years, we affectionately called “Grandpa’s Tree”. It stood on a bit of a hill overlooking the river. In its prime, this mighty oak provided peaceful shade and a quiet place to read a great mystery, ponder life and love, and offer heartfelt prayers to God. …

  • Bits and Pieces

    The other night, my oldest daughter and I walked around a bookstore for about an hour. We like to take pictures of all the books we want to read. We took a fair number of pictures but bought nary a book. I’m sure Barnes and Noble loves us.  We had been chatting, discussing, and pondering…

  • Not Exactly What I Was Looking For

    One morning recently, my oldest daughter and I were having our weekend morning coffee together time. We talk, share, and lament the lack of sleep one or both of us had the previous night. This particular morning we decided to get on the ferry and head to a beach where you can find shark teeth.…

  • When You Lose It

    Over the years I’ve lost a lot of things…the biggest being my marriage and the second is probably sleep. But there have been a few other things lost along the way…I’ve lost my mind a time or two, lost my appetite (could stand to do that a bit more), lost my courage, lost an argument,…

  • Where else would I go?

    I have written a lot lately about being loved. It’s a place I haven’t felt God leading me to leave yet. I’m on this journey to have my hope restored, my broken heart repaired, and to learn to trust again. Without the love of Jesus, I do not believe it would be possible. Even with…

  • If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

    I’ve had some trust issues. Many of us probably have or do, at least at one time or another. Sometimes trust issues look like not trusting others, sometimes it’s more about not trusting ourselves, and sometimes we just flat out don’t really trust God. I’ve struggled with all three of those at one point or…

  • Counting It All Good

    One Sunday when I was in my early teens, my mom and I sang a song together at church. I remember how nervous I was while I waited in the front pew for the end of the Scripture reading. Mom and I walked up together, stood behind the pulpit, placed our hymnal down, and waited…

  • Redeemed, Restored, Resting

    I grabbed a whole row because my sweethearts were coming in behind me. I laid down my jacket, my purse, my Bible, my journal, and a few bulletins throughout the row to make sure I had enough seats. As they all filed in, I felt my smile grow bigger and bigger. These beautiful young people…

  • Everything is OK

    There is a stump where a big beautiful oak tree used to stand tall over the river. We called it “Grandpa’s Tree” because my dad used to like to sit under it and quietly look out at the water. It’s a special spot for our family. We miss my dad and now we miss the…