I LOVE giving gifts.  Like really love it.

This year I’ve been careful though.  I’ve set a certain amount of gifts each child will receive and an amount I’m willing to spend.  So far, I’m doing pretty well with it.  Although I’ve been known to blow the whole budget in a minute so the jury is out whether I will make it to Christmas without splurging.  I’m determined not to.

There are a lot of articles and blogs out there talking about not being so focused on giving.  And I do understand that, but I think sometimes we can get so caught up in not being caught up we are kinda caught up in that….does that make sense?

I’m all for moderation, but I can’t deny loving giving gifts.  And after all,

Christmas is about a Gift.

A tremendous Gift of love.  A thought-about, thought-through, sacrificial, expensive Gift.

There is a place for giving gifts, maybe not gifts simply for the sake of giving and getting.

Gifts for the sake of blessing.

Right now, the gift that God is most blessedly giving me…repeatedly…is the reminder of the Gospel and all it means to my every day.  My every day needs for forgiveness, peace, and hope.

Oh how I need forgiveness.

How I long for peace.

How thankful I am for hope.

And even while God is presenting me again and again with the gift of His love in myriad ways, I am finding myself being unwrapped more and more for Him.

These past several months (and maybe even years) have been many moments filled with realization, some comforting and some quite appalling.  Moments that open my eyes to my great need for a Savior.  Moments that open my eyes to my value simply as His child.  Moments that give me a deeper affection for my Savior and the glorious grace that He continues to offer me… and even some that give me some fear of the beautiful justice of my God.

And, I find myself now…feeling as if I’m one of those little boxes wrapped in a bigger box and then in a bigger box and then in an even bigger box…and so on and so on… and I see that God is slowly and patiently unwrapping each layer of me.

Each layer reveals another thing that God is going to refine…redeem…restore.   And I have to be honest, all this unwrapping hasn’t been the easiest for me.  I’d much prefer to be wrapped up in love and grace and peace and joy then unwrapped at all.  It has been quite difficult, even disheartening at times.  I have despaired of being the woman I want to be.

But this Christmas, I know with each unwrapping, God is revealing the woman He has made me to be.

It is kind of weird to think of myself as a gift…I know.  Especially considering so much of the time I feel like a complete and utter failure….who wants that under the tree?

Apparently God does.  God wants me just like I am.

Just as I am.

Maybe what I need to remember this Christmas is the gift of God loving me just as I am.

I don’t have to be anything better than I am…just be me.

God loving me with the gift of Jesus….so that my life could be a gift back to Him.

My life is a gift.

A gift to me.

And a gift to Him.

And Jesus….

There have been times lately when I have been so caught up in the challenges and the temptations of this life that I have lost sight of Him…I’ve missed Him.

I’ve missed the daily gift of Him.

I’ve missed enjoying His presence through prayer and His wisdom through the Word.

And in doing so, I’ve missed the sweet opportunity to make my life a gift back to Him.

I want my life to daily be a gift back to God…something beautiful wrapped in love just for Him.

I do so love to give gifts…I believe I’m going to try to give myself to Him every single day.