All of It and More

IMG_5748I have started no less than three blogs this week.   I have thought of about fifteen I want to write.  Time has been limited so I had hoped yesterday would be the day to put words to page, but God had different plans.

I spent the day at the hospital with my mom.  It is so very reminiscent of my time at this very hospital with my dad 2 years ago.  Thankfully, I do not believe my mom is in a life threatening situation, but it is heart breaking to be here.

I’m back here again today and will be again tomorrow.

And I’m torn because while I’m here my children are home.  I’m so thankful for my big kids who continually step up and help.  This time it has been my oldest daughter who has been simply amazing.  She very rarely complains about helping me…in fact, I can’t think of a time she has.

For the past several months she has been sharing a room with her 7 and 8 year old sisters, and she hasn’t complained.  How is that possible?  What a wonderful young woman!

Actually all my children rock!  Truly.  They step up without complaint in so many situations.  I’m so very blessed.

This hospital visit has provided time to be still.  I’ve had so much on my heart and mind this week.

And God has brought me to Ephesians 3:20-21

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Sometimes God’s word just hits me…like a cool breeze on a hot day or a soft wave rushing over my feet at the beach.  There are other times when His word whacks me a bit more like the proverbial 2×4…but this time, it has been a gentle touch…a welcome hug.

What hits me most is the phrase “able to do immeasurably more” – that word immeasurably is one I can’t really wrap my brain around.

Immeasurably more.

It makes me wonder (again) why I can’t seem to rest in the knowledge that God is able.  GOD. IS. ABLE.

He isn’t just able…He is more than able.

I’m actually not sure what more than able means.  It’s like that phrase in Romans 8:37 more than conquerors – what does that even mean?

Although more than a conqueror I think I kind of understand…I think maybe it means that God doesn’t just make us the victor, He gives us the blessings of victory.  Like when the Israelites were freed from Egypt, He inclined the Egyptians to give them things so they began their journey with provisions.  They won freedom and provision.

Maybe more than able means that God is able and willing.

But that begs the questions, “Then why doesn’t He always fix things?”

Willing doesn’t seem like the right word, but I think it is.  It doesn’t seem right because when I think of willing I think that it means that if God is willing He should make it happen.  Just getterdone.

But I believe a better way to describe it is that God is willing to always do what is absolutely best.  Best based on His divine, omniscient, sovereign wisdom – not my limited, worldly wisdom (if that can even be called wisdom).

Good gravy!  I’ve ended up yet again at the issue of trust.

I have to trust that God’s ability and willingness to work in my life are always going to be based on what He knows, not what I know.

That’s a good thing, but hard to accept at times.  I feel like I know my situation so well.  I feel like I’m pretty sure I have a good idea of what would be best.

But then again, I take forever to make a decision and then spend most of the rest of the time second-guessing myself. So being confident in my understanding of my situation is kind of silly.  Thinking I have the ability to make the best decisions is not exactly my standard operating procedure.  Why in the world do I question God’s ability and willingness to work in my life…to work perfectly in my life?

I’ll tell you why…because it doesn’t look perfect to me.  Not perfect AT ALL!

My life feels so less than perfect…ugh.

Actually I don’t even need perfect, I would settle for uncomplicated.

Yes, uncomplicated…simple, straightforward, unfussy, easy.

Unfussy.  I love that word!  Man, can I be fussy!

Maybe the change I need is not an unfussy life, but an unfussy me?!

Maybe if I get my brain around “GOD IS ABLE” things will look  less complicated.  Maybe if I can begin to grasp that God is able to do immeasurably more…exceedingly abundantly, infinitely more, above and beyond, far exceedingly beyond all that we ask or imagine.  Those were just some of the versions I found.

What has all of a sudden struck me is that it isn’t just what we ask – it is what we don’t even ask…those things that I just think, dream, hope for, wish for, envision, and imagine.

God knows me so well, He knows all that I hope for and all that I imagine…and He cares about it all.

I read this in the Matthew Henry’s Commentary
3:20, 21 It is proper always to end prayers with praises. Let us expect more, and ask for more, encouraged by what Christ has already done for our souls, being assured that the conversion of sinners, and the comfort of believers, will be to his glory, for ever and ever.

And all of a sudden, my perspective has changed, yet again.

I know that the words in Ephesians 3:20-21 are meant as more than just a comfort for me as an individual.  They are meant to encourage us that Jesus has already done more than all we can ask or think…who would have ever thought to ask God for Him to sacrifice His Son for their salvation?  Who would have imagined that God would be willing to do anything to save us?

And yet, He did.

He already did it!  I didn’t even have to think about it or imagine it.

While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me! (Romans 5:8)

Oh my goodness!  I think my lightbulb just went on!

I get it!  Again, God brings us back to the gospel.  That God is able thing…it’s not just about my life, my nitty-gritty, my fears, my dreams, my hopes, my prayers…it’s about it all!  It’s about life.  It’s about salvation!

It’s about Jesus!

He is so good!  To remind me again that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead…that the same God who created me and watches me do dumb stuff constantly…that same God decided on a rescue plan for me, for us all… He willingly put it into motion…He made it happen because HE IS ABLE!

He is able to save to the utmost!  He is able to completely save.  He is able to forgive and redeem and sanctify and perfect!

Sometimes I think I’m quite able to do what needs to be done, but Jesus has proven that some things (all things) are done better by Him.

He was able to save me when I couldn’t.

He is able to forgive me when I can’t.

He is able in all the ways I am not.

He is able in all the ways I think I am.

He is able in every way to do all that I can’t even imagine or think.

Our Savior is so good…so good!

I’m so thankful for this time, even if it is sitting in a hospital room.  I’m so thankful for a moment to ponder things.  I’m so thankful for my Lord.  I’m so thankful for hope.

Whenever God brings me back to the gospel, I have renewed hope wash over me.  If He is able to save me, He is able to do it all!

All of it and more!

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