Are You Okay with Broken?

broken heart


One of those words that doesn’t bring a lot of joy.  Who wants to be broken? 

Broken things.

             Broken bones.

                            Broken relationships.

                                                  Broken vows.

                                                                        Broken homes.

                                                                                                Broken hearts.

I assume we are all on the same page and don’t want that word to describe much if anything in our lives.  In fact, the only phrase with broken in it that I can think of ever wanting to use is “broken fever”.

For a while I’ve tried to figure out a different word to describe my family other than broken.  Initially I thought it was just too negative. I started trying out different descriptive words.  Wounded.  Bruised.  Hurting.  Anything but broken.

I wanted to stand up and holler, “WE ARE NOT BROKEN!!!!” 

But you know what?  I believe we are.  And I’m realizing that that’s okay.

We are broken but healing.  God, the Great Physician, is fixing up all the broken parts.

A couple of things have brought me to this conclusion. 

The first was reading this verse:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  2 Corinthians 4:7-10

After reading that verse I looked up the meaning of “jars of clay.”  One of the definitions said that the jars of clay would have brought to mind a common household jar – probably inexpensive and fairly easy to break.  It would probably have cracks and chips from being well-used. 

There is so much to get from this verse, but the idea that struck me was that the brokenness of the jar of clay allows what’s inside to be seen – to flow out. 

The brokenness of our lives allows God to shine through us.  Oh my goodness, that sounds like some really syrupy sweet quote to post on Facebook.   Unfortunately for all of us I can’t think of a better way to say it.

I just know that when everything in my world went cablooey, God was the only explanation for why I didn’t personally go cablooey.    It was abundantly clear that the strength I had to move forward came from God and God alone – “the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”

One of my first fears following the shattering of my marriage was that my testimony was toast.  I kept thinking of all the people that would think we were just absolute frauds.  I felt like a fraud.  Or maybe I should say I felt like I’d been defrauded.   Everyone, including me, thought we had a great marriage.  How could I speak about my relationship with God, if everyone thought I hadn’t been honest about my relationship with my husband?

But God showed me that my testimony wasn’t about what I could or couldn’t do…my testimony is what God has done and is still doing in my life.

 And He worked mightily in those days following the shattering.  He loved me and my children through our church, our homeschool community, our neighbors, and even the city where my husband had worked.  He provided for us in amazing ways.  He gave us peace and even joy in the midst of our pain and breaking.  It was HIM, all Him.

Just as light shows through or water pours out of cracks in a broken pot, Jesus shows through our brokenness.

He showed through broken vows when He gave me the strength, peace, and perspective to fight for my marriage in the face of my husband’s betrayal.  Believe me it wasn’t me.

He showed through the broken relationships caused by my husband’s actions when He gave our friends wisdom, kindness, compassion, and grace to pursue my husband and love him despite his response.

He showed through our broken home by strengthening the bond my children and I have, strengthening our faith, and gracing us with love and joy.

He showed through my broken heart when I was able to comfort with the comfort I’d been given (2 Corinthians 1:4).

I could probably think of a million more ways that God has shown through the brokenness of my life.  I’ve seen it in others too.  My friends who have or who are battling illness…the grace they have while suffering greatly.   The way my suffering friends reach out to others in their grief and pain.  The compassion I see in my children because they understand what it means to be loved by others while going through difficulties.  The love I see in those who have had their hearts broken, but are still willing to open up to love again.

So I’m thinking that maybe being broken isn’t such a bad thing. 

Especially if God is allowing the breaking…which I believe He does.  If God allows it He is going to use it.  If God allows it He is going to bring good out of it.  If God allows it He is going to bring us through it.  If God allows it He is going to be glorified! All those things are good…very good.

I really am okay being referred to as broken.  I’m not a broken woman…I’m a woman broken by the Lord so that I can be healed.  And I believe that I’m much better as a healed woman than I ever was before the breaking.  

I have a long way to go and there is a lot of brokenness that needs to be healed. 

I’m realizing this is a big topic.  One that I’m going to have to ponder more.  Because it’s one thing for me to be broken and to watch God work with me towards healing.  It is another thing all together to watch how the breaking of so much in our lives has affected my children.  That has been very very difficult for me.  I’m definitely going to have to pray about that before I share my thoughts.

I believe it’s going to be me again recognizing that I have to entrust my children to God.  I have to believe that He is working good for them in all of this too. 

A lot to pray and ponder to be sure.

Thank you so much for being willing to walk this path with me.  For being interested in my thoughts.

I pray that they have encouraged you that no matter what way we describe our families…whole, broken, wounded, healing, etc…God has us and it is good. 

7 thoughts on “Are You Okay with Broken?

  1. Feeling sorry for myself this past Sunday, I opted for staying in bed instead of going to church. God found me anyway 🙂 I tuned in to this on TV:

    “If we value comfort more than what God is
    doing in our character, trials will upset us.
    If we value the material and physical more
    than the spiritual, we can’t count it all joy when
    we experience hardship.
    If we live only for the present and forget the
    future, our difficulties will make us bitter
    instead of better.”

    Dr. Charles Stanley


  2. Sue,
    Thank you for a wonderful message. Your book and your blog have helped me as I journey through marital separation and a divorce I do not want. I feel broken by what has happened to me and my children. But I firmly believe with all my heart that our Lord will heal my brokenness and turn these circumstances around for His glory and for my good.

    God Bless you.


  3. Oh Susan how I wish u were near because I want to give u a huge hug! U have been such an encouragement to me and seem to blog just when I need to be reminded of some very important things. U r such a transparent woman in sharing ur thoughts and perspectives. God is using his beautiful daughter to dohis work in so many ways. Mays u be abundantly blessed for ur obedience to God in sharing in ur journey called life. Thank Susan!!


  4. It is hard to watch the hurt suffered by our children when we are broken. Yet it is also an opportunity for us to teach them about our great Savior Jesus Christ.

    2 Cor 1:3-6a
    3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. 6 But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation….

    In our response to our brokenness, we teach our children about God, His great love and comfort for us, His great purpose for us, His refining of us and also how He is growing and refining them.

    No it is not easy to see how the pain of our trials affect our children but God is gracious even in that so we as parents can demonstrate comfort to them and help bring them to a saving knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Praying that you can continually point your children to Christ through your brokenness.


  5. Wow I’m so glad to find your blog !!!! I am in the same boat and so much of why you’ve written I can amen to the letter !!! 🙂 thank God for others who have seen Him come and comfort and carry through this crazy part of life xx I look forward to reading more of your journey with Father and being encouraged and challenged in my own walk with Him , so thankful for All He has done in our lives !! May He be praise forever for His goodness xx xx your sister xx shaaz


  6. It is interesting, but I disliked the word broken in reference to my children and I after my husband left. The word broken seems like something that can not be repaired. I know the marriage will most likely not be repaired but as for my kids and I, I like to think of us as wounded…not broken. A wound can be healed. And I believe we can be healed by the Great Physician…although there will always be a scar from the injury.


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