I’m trying to dig deeply into Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.”

It’s verses I’ve had memorized for a long time. Every time I come across them, the promise of straight paths grabs hold of me because I’ve longed for straight paths for quite a while. 

I’ve spent the better part of the last 15 years feeling and believing I should be able to make my life a straight path. I cannot tell you how often I’ve asked God for wisdom, discernment, and a slam dunk. I also cannot tell you how many times it has NOT been a slam dunk at all.

So many things just don’t work the way they should…at least the way I think they should. 

I’ve been trying to make straight paths for so long, but no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to do it. And, it can seem that God is not inclined to make my paths straight or the paths of my children straight either.

As anyone who knows me would tell you, I’ve been walking a wonky path for quite a while. If the struggles my children face could be alleviated, that would take away a few boulders in the path. If one month could go by without unexpected expenses that would straighten out a curve or two. If my job could provide better and my home could just not have an issue for a minute, a few potholes could be filled in. And a few less responsibilities…well, that would allow me to put down some of the backbreaking load I feel like I’m constantly carrying. Even a rest stop along the way would be dearly appreciated. 

I just want life to be straight paths without so many bumps and curves and detours.

It looks like the “formula” is rather simple…Trust God. Don’t try to understand it all. Submit to His way. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart…

Trust God….that’s a doozy for me. I know that He is trustworthy, but at times I don’t seem to be good at trusting. Maybe I think I need to handle things? Maybe experience can make it seem like He isn’t trustworthy? Maybe I’m too blinded by my own perspective, sin, and fear? Maybe I don’t understand what it means to trust completely? 

Trusting with all my heart…what does that even mean?

I went looking for what heart means biblically. I found that it means my will, the center of me, what I think, my emotions, what I want and hope for, what I’m hoping in, and who or what ultimately has my heart. 

So, I’m pretty sure that means that with all that I am, I trust Him. I courageously trust that He is willing, able, and determined to do the absolute best thing in my life, whether I think it is or not. I have to believe that no matter what happens He is good and what He is doing or allowing in my life is the very best thing for me. He cannot do otherwise. My heart is completely His…my emotions and thoughts, my hopes and all that defines me are bathed in the reality of His sovereignty and love. 

Lean not on your own understanding.

If all that is true, then leaning on Him is natural and safe.

I think of leaning as putting my weight on something that I’m trusting to hold me up. Wow, is it easy to try to lean on my own self which is honestly a weird thought because how in the world do you lean on yourself. It is physical impossible and I’m confident it is spiritually impossible too. 

I think more often than not I’m leaning on my circumstances. It’s sometimes very difficult to remember that God is taking care of things when it seems like pure chaos to me. Or when challenging things keep happening to me and particularly to my children. My own understanding doesn’t see the big picture of my life or their lives. I have limited understanding. God has complete understanding. I can safely lean on His perfect understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

In all my ways submit to him…no matter what the ways seem like…trust Him. 

So I’m prayerfully wrestling with my life and this verse and straight paths. And all of sudden, I realized that straight paths might not be what I think they are supposed to be. 

Maybe straight paths are straight not because they are easily traversed and obviously marked, but rather paths that lead me straight to Him. 

I’ve been hoping all this time for paths that were clear and easy and hassle-free, but I think its the destination not the conditions of the journey that I need to focus on.   

The destination perspective I need will help me focus on how I walk the path laid before me whether it is full of challenges and struggles or not. 

When I typed that I thought (as I always do), “Yeah, but what does that mean practically?” Because I still have to deal with all the things. And I realized that when I practice a few things, it helps. Things like:

• Knowing that I’m not walking this path alone, ever. My Lord and Savior walks every single step of my wonky way with me. 
• Recognizing that God has truly always been faithful to get me through all the things. When I look back, I’m so surprised at what we have been through and how we have truly gone beyond surviving.
• Acknowleding the true blessings in my life rather than just the struggles. When I consider my children and the people they have and are becoming as well as our relationships with each other, I’m in awe of God’s goodness. 
• Thanking God for the good things (and if I’m ever mature enough, for the difficult things too). It is absolutely true that when I focus on what is good, the bad diminishes a bit or even a lot. 

I still desperately want a straight path and a slam dunk, but I’ll take Jesus by my side, God’s faithful provision, and the blessings He graciously has given me.