On the second floor of my home is a little room barely big enough for a twin bed and a very small dresser. We call it the tiny room. I’m not sure what it was designed for, but for a while, I called it my “junk drawer.” You know, that kitchen drawer that becomes the catch-all for everything that has no other designated spot. The drawer that can be difficult to close and is filled with bits and pieces that have no relationship to one another. That was my tiny room, but it has been renamed and reorganized as my little office. It has my desk, three bookshelves, a few crates of papers, and a lovely window. I’m still in the process of decorating, but it is my special place to work, write, and pray.

I’ve made a little corner behind the door to pray. Post-it notes are on the back of the door. There is a pillow, a box of tissues, more notes, and a pen waiting for more praises or petitions. As soon as I sit on the cushion, take a deep breath, and say “Father…”, it’s as if all the pent-up things of life come to the surface, and I’m laid bare before Him. It is a safe place to be brutally open and honest.

This year my focus is prayer. I’ve always wanted to be a prayer warrior but have found it challenging to get beyond the triage prayers I live uttering. Prayer needs to be more than asking for something and asking why. My prayers have become a lot of asking.

My children also ask a lot of questions. I’ve implored them to take one day off from asking for things. Just one day of no requests or questions. I’ve determined it isn’t possible. They can’t help themselves – they want stuff, want to go places, want to see things, need help, need advice, need attention…but me too, honestly.

In my ladies’ Bible study this past week, we looked at Matthew 7:7-11. The verses are about asking and receiving, seeking and finding, knocking and doors opening. We looked at other verses that included the word “ask” as well, and it dawned on me that, unlike me, God really wants us to ask Him for and about things! He wants me to place my requests and petitions before Him. He wants me to trust that He hears me and knows just what I need.

When I first reread those verses, I thought it was a nice idea, but the whole ask, seek, and knock thing doesn’t really work…or seem to work at face value. I know that prayers matter, and I can pray believing and trusting. Still, the reality is that I don’t always get an answer (or the answer I’m hoping for), I don’t always find what I’m seeking, and doors don’t always open when I knock.

And then, I stopped and realized I needed to consider how I view prayer and God’s responses more deeply.

The words “at face value” have a deeper meaning than I think (which is ironic). It can mean that something is worth what is printed on it like the five on a five dollar bill means it is worth five dollars. It can also mean that something is true without being questioned or doubted.

I think the phrase kind of works for what I mean. So basically, if I take the ask, seek, knock verses to mean that I ask for anything and receive it, I’ll find whatever I’m seeking, or any door I knock on will be opened, then I’m taking it at face value. Still, there may be a more valuable meaning beneath. After all, that is often how God works… there’s always something more profound.

That second definition caught me off guard, though. I knew the first, but this one, well, I was surprised because that is the better way to approach these verses.

Because in that definition, I see how I want to be in my relationship with God, believing without questioning or doubting.

So, back to Matthew 7. In verses 7-11, Jesus uses the word “ask” 5 times. God definitely wants us to ask Him for things…but why? After all, He already knows how things will go, the best plan for us, and how to take care of us better than we do…so why do I even need to ask?

The other day, my new driver daughter went to the car before me. When I walked out of the driveway, I saw her sitting in the driver’s seat. I said, “Sweetie, I don’t want you to assume you will always be the driver now. Please ask before you take your seat behind the wheel.” It wasn’t that I was going to say “no” if she asked; I just wanted her to ask. I wanted her to know that I was in control of the situation. She needed to know that driving is a privilege, not a right or a given. In a similar (but not the same) way, I believe when I ask God for things, I recognize that, ultimately, He is in control. After all, I could make decisions willy-nilly in my own partial wisdom and think I’m actually in control of my world…or at least feel for a moment that I am.

Asking God for wisdom, guidance, things, relationships, or rescues reminds me that He is God and I am not. If I ran my life, I’d most definitely run it into the ground, yet I still want to be in control. I still want a say in how things go. I still have a vision for the future that I want to come to fruition. But God…oh, how He continually brings that phrase to mind. But God knows best. But God loves best. But God directs best. But God answers best.

So I will continue sitting on the pillow with my Bible, journal, pen, post-it notes, and tissues. Talking honestly with my Lord. Worshiping and thanking my Savior. Asking my Father for all the things I think I need and all the things He knows I need. And that He will make me into the godly, gracious, loving woman He designed me to be and I want to be.