watchman nee

Being Right and Other Wrongs

/ Sue Birdseye / 5 Comments

Red Boxing Gloves Hanging on WallNothing has done greater damage to our Christian testimony than our trying to be right and demanding right of others. We become preoccupied with what is and what is not right. We ask ourselves, Have we been justly or unjustly treated? And we think thus to vindicate our actions. But that is not our standard. The whole question for us is one of cross-bearing. You ask me, “Is it right for someone to strike my cheek?” I reply, “Of course not! But the question is, do you only want to be right?” As Christians our standard of living can never be “right or wrong,” but the Cross.
Watchman Nee “Sit, Walk, Stand”

Recently I had a very difficult confrontation with my ex-husband.

Originally I wrote a blog that shared what had happened in hopes that I could “help” someone else who was dealing with an ex-spouse who says mean things. But I realized that my intent was not simply to help someone, but also to vindicate myself in a sense. I knew that I was right and dang it I was gonna make sure that everyone else knew it too…including my ex.

This situation…ugh.

I want my ex-husband to own it. He will not.

Maybe he can’t.

Again I have realized that…

It’s not my job to convince him that his actions were wrong. In fact, I should not try.

But what is my job? I mean, in these circumstances, what do I do?

I’m reminded of this verse from Micah. I know that it was written in response to Israel asking God what they should do…God’s response is that they should already know. And in a sense, I feel that I do know, even though I continue to ask the question.

In this verse God again shows Israel that He is not pleased by empty rituals or liturgy, but rather by justice, kindness (mercy) and humility.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

I gotta be honest and say that I’m not sure about the “do justice” part…because my idea of doing justice is probably not exactly right. Sometimes, like during that confrontation, I want my ex-husband to feel the weight of justice landing a right hook on his jaw.

THAT is NOT right.

According to Strong’s concordance another word for justice is “rightness”.

Rightness. Hmmmm…as much as I want to say, “See, that means I need to be right!” I believe that a more accurate definition would be that I need to act right. And acting right and being right can be two very different things.

God wants me to act in a way that brings Him glory…not me. I so want to vindicate myself and make things right…my definition of right. (It’s amazing how many times that word is coming up in this blog!)

Sue’s definition of right: … I’d write it but it’s wrong anyway.

AND, in beginning to attempt to write it I realized that I’m still trying to make my ex-husband’s actions known and despised.

Still trying to be right.

Maybe doing justice for me means that I trust that God is going to deal justly with this situation. Maybe it means that I act more Christ-like and less Sue-like. Maybe it means that I don’t strive to be right, but I strive for peace.

I will be praying about this, because I know that God is showing me what He wants me to do, but I gotta be honest and say that I’m not feelin’ it yet.

I will pray.

And I know when I pray God is going to reveal how often His justice in my life has been tempered by His grace and mercy. That were I to feel the left hook of justice hitting my jaw…well, let’s just say, it would be deserved but not appreciated.

Thankfully, He will give me the grace, the strength, and the ability to do all that He has called me to do with justice, mercy, and kindness.

Praise God that He will always be right…and His right is always best.

Unexpected

/ Sue Birdseye / 3 Comments

Were you ever certain that God was asking you to do something that seemed completely ridiculous and a bit unexpected?  That is probably a “duh” questions to some degree.  God seems to always be asking us to do challenging things – I might even say bizarre by the world’s standard things.

Yesterday I sat at my son Peter’s school waiting for him to be presented with a Birthday Book Certificate.  I’d donated a book to the school library in honor of his birthday.  When I filled out the form, I wrote that the book was from Mom, Zach, Emma, Elizabeth and Allison.

Before he even received it, I was dreading hearing them read off those names minus one very important one.  It struck me that maybe I should have included his father on that list.  He doesn’t deserve to be there nor did he contribute to the book, but I believe it would have been a really cool thing to do for my son.  Totally a lost opportunity to bless him.

Tomorrow is Pete’s birthday and I’m planning on taking him out to dinner after school.  Can’t wait!  His Dad just texted me and asked when he could give Pete his present.  I decided to go for it and be the woman I want to be even if I wasn’t totally “feeling” it.  I invited him to have dinner with us.  After I texted him, I felt such peace even as I, with trepidation, tried to think of what a dinner with my ex-husband and our 5 children would look and feel like.  Regardless of my anxious thoughts, it was the right thing to do.

I read a great book several years ago by Watchman Nee entitled, Sit, Walk, Stand.  Listen to this quote, “Nothing has done greater damage to our Christian testimony than our trying to be right and demanding right of others.  We become preoccupied with what is and what is not right.  We ask ourselves,  Have we been justly or unjustly treated? and we think thus to vindicate our actions.  But that is not our standard.  The whole question for us is one of cross-bearing.  You ask me, “Is it right for someone to strike my cheek?”  I reply, “Of course not!  But the question is, do you only want to be right?”  As Christians our standard of living can never be “right or wrong,” but the Cross.”

He goes on to share a story about a farmer in China whose neighbor began to steal water from his irrigation stream.  Each time he would fix it, the neighbor would make a breach and steal the water.  The farmer asked his Christian brothers what he should do.  “I have tried to be patient and not to retaliate,” he said, “but is it right?”  They all prayed.  (How I wish I would always remember to pray before I offer advice!)  One of the brothers responded, “If we only try to do the right thing, surely we are very poor Christians.  We have to do something more than what is right.”  The farmer took the advice to heart and the next day he pumped water for his neighbor’s two fields before he pumped for his own.  His neighbor was astonished by the farmers actions and began asking questions.  Those questions led to his salvation!  The farmer did what was unexpected and the results were beyond his expectations as well!

That’s my hope – my prayer – that God will give me the ability to do more than what is expected or understandable.  I want to be like Jesus.

I’m thankful that I went with the Holy Spirit’s prompting – totally wasn’t my idea to be sure.  Pete’s Dad didn’t accept the invitation, but maybe next year.  That would certainly be unexpected!