Why is it that sometimes when God answers a prayer, it is so difficult to accept it without questions or doubts? To believe that God loves you enough to bless you so much?
For the past several years I have prayed many prayers…placed many requests at the foot of the throne of grace. I have asked for more things than I can possibly share in a few short words.
Recently God has answered one of my prayers in a very real and in my face kind of way…and yet, I still doubt if the gift is indeed for me. I still question whether this is something that God would want to do for me.
But God does love to give His children good gifts…”if you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11
I love that God gives good gifts, but I have to be honest and tell you that I really wanted to leave out the “who are evil” part of that verse and replace it with “…” That is just like me to avoid the part that is uncomfortable. I do understand what Jesus is saying though. He is comparing us with God – and really there is no comparison. We are terribly flawed and God is awesomely perfect.
For example, our gifts are most often given because it’s expected, or we feel obligated, or we are hoping to be rewarded in some way. Not that there aren’t times when we just really want to bless someone and our motives are pure. But if we honestly looked at ourselves we could most definitely NOT say our motives are basically always pure, because they very rarely are.
BUT God…now that’s another story. He is all good and all love. There is not a selfish motive in Him.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17
God’s character does not change. His word is faithful and true. So if God says He loves to give me good gifts who am I to question Him? If it is His good and perfect will that I be blessed with answered prayers, why do I not revel in the joy of it? Instead I choose to doubt…to doubt His everlasting love for me…to doubt He would plan good things for me…to doubt that He can indeed turn my mourning to dancing.
God has more than revealed that He is faithful and good to me.
I am choosing to trust that my God loves me. I am choosing to be thankful for answered prayer and good gifts. I am choosing to be excited as I watch His plan for my life unfold.
I am choosing Him.