“As Is”

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I once heard someone say that God takes us “as is”.

Recently I was looking to replace my oven and I visited the ReStore to see if I could find a used one. The only one I found said “As-Is” and I immediately thought, “Nope.”  I have enough trouble with brand-new appliances, I’m certainly not going to purchase an “as-is” used one.

It is super easy to assume that an as-is anything is going to be greatly flawed, likely to break-down, and maybe even prove a useless purchase. Goodness knows, I’ve bought enough things at yard sales, thrift stores, and consignment shops to know the risks.

So when I heard that God takes me “as is,” I thought, “Isn’t that a bit risky?”

After all, I know all my malfunctioning parts. I know that I’m low on energy production and can tend to fizzle and spark when worked too hard. Sometimes I work quite well, other times not so much.  Oh my goodness! I’m my dishwasher.

Thankfully I love a God who takes risks, because if He didn’t there would be no way I’d get to be called His child!

I remember the moment I read Romans 5:6 for the first time…I don’t mean it was the first time I read it, but as my AP Literature students would say,  it was the first time I “read-read” it. (That means that you actually read it, you didn’t just say you read it when you actually skimmed it.)

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.” Romans 5:6

And I remember underlining “at just the right time” with my blue pen. What a God way to do things. Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late. Just the right time. Love it.

Then I see two things about me that I can absolutely confirm…powerless and ungodly. That was me before Jesus…and when I don’t keep my focus on Him that’s how I can still sometimes feel.

What I love about that little gem of a verse is a beautiful reminder that at my worst, God still chose me. At my worst, Jesus still loved me enough to die for me. To DIE for me. Sometimes that just hits me like a ton of bricks.

Jesus took me as-is and made me His.

He didn’t get me inspected, require me to show him how well I worked, test out my skills, require a warranty agreement, have me sign a contract of promises. He didn’t ask me to do one little thing before He died for me.

He deemed me worth it before I even knew Him…before I loved him. And my worth? My worth is because He loves me.

“The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that  he swore to your fathers.” Deuteronomy 7:6-8

Amazing. The Lord set his love on us and chose us because He loves us. It’s a bit nutty. He loves us because He loves us. Which kind of makes sense because He is love, but still I love you because I love you seems a weird thing to say…but it’s true. God loves me because He made me to love…He just loves me.

It’s like how I feel about my children. I love them because they are. I love them because I was made to love them.

God loves me because I’m His child…He wasn’t made to love me, I was made to be loved by Him.  

Loved As Is.

Me and all my stuff…my storage unit of stuff.

Believe me, I am not a bargain. No end to my issues, fears, anxious thinking, and bad habits. I’m no longer bright and shiny, if I ever was, and I’m rather temperamental especially when exhausted and weary.

And yet God shows up and says, “She’s the one I want! Wrap her up! I’m taking her home!”

Wrap me up in Christ’s righteousness and make me your own, Lord!

I’m so glad it isn’t about me. (How funny that there are so many times in life I want things to be about me and this time, not so much!) It isn’t about being worthy of love…it is simply about being loved.

Simply about being His child…chosen, loved, precious..as is.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  1 John 3:1a

Little Boxes…annoying little boxes

Recently it seems I have had to fill out a ridiculous number of forms that all require me to write down my status…single, married, divorced, widowed…  It’s amazing how much I want to deny my actual status.  Who would have thought I’d ever wish I could check any box but divorced?  Just being honest.  I feel as though I have a giant D plastered to my front, my back, my forehead and everywhere in between.  As a Christian, it’s particularly difficult to come to terms with this life status.  It is an epic failure.  I’m getting used to it…I guess.

In the past several weeks I’ve been to more medical/dental appointments than I thought possible. And at each one those blasted clip boards with those horrid forms are handed to me.  And each time I have to reaffirm that I am divorced.  And each time I want to add a posted note with the circumstances of my divorce.  “Divorced due to the adulterous actions of my husband…blah blah blah.”  But why?  It doesn’t really matter anymore.  I have forgiven him and I don’t want to malign him any more than his actions already have.  I have peace in my heart about what God is doing in my life. And yet, I cannot deny that it feels crummy being a divorcee.

No matter how many of us there are out there, it stills feels like a tragic life circumstance with a definite negative stigma attached.   But in all honesty, that crummy feeling is because I’m trying to find my identity in something that isn’t ultimately going to give me any peace or even a good perspective.  My relationship status – married, single, separated, divorced, widowed – none of those truly are who I am at the core.  Does that make sense?  It is a circumstance in my life not me at my most defining point.  Although even as I write that I know that there is more to it than that. There is a depth to marriage that makes it so much more than just my relationship status…maybe that’s why divorce feels so shattering.  As much as I want it simply to be a box I check or don’t check…it feels like so much more.  Married is how I have wanted to describe myself since I was a little girl. It was my most anticipated adjective.  I had it for a long while and then, in what felt like an instance, it was gone…my adjective was replaced with one I really don’t like much at all, but I have long ago accepted this new adjective to describe me…not happily or without a bit of fussing.

But today I have decided to focus on other things that I prefer much more.  I bet a bunch of them describe you too.  I made this list in preparation for a talk I did at a ladies’ retreat…it blessed me to be reminded of who I am in Christ…I pray it blesses you too.

Beloved Daughter of the King

Cherished Bride of Christ

Precious Child of God

A new creation

God’s workmanship

Free from condemnation

Forgiven

Not forsaken

Lavishly and Unconditionally Loved

Worth Far More than Sparrows

Never alone

Never separated from the Love of God

Blessed with every spiritual blessing

With reason to be joyful, prayerful, and thankful

Filled with the Holy Spirit and all His fruit

Afflicted in every way, but not crushed

Perplexed but not driven to despair

Persecuted but not forsaken

Struck down but not destroyed

Saved by grace

Reconciled to God

More than conquerors

Ambassadors

Free

Have grace

Have love

Have purpose

Have eternal hope

Each one of those descriptions speaks to my heart and mind…reminds me of who I am and Whose I am.  There is always hope.

Dearest, you are loved beyond measure. 

Nothing can change that fact.  

And certainly not a little box on a form.