I’m a gardener-wannabe. I have so many friends who have flourishing gardens. Alas, I have a black thumb when it comes to gardening. No one truly has believed me until now. This summer, I have proof. And it isn’t even the dead cherry tree in the side yard. My yard is full of clover and dry ground and my vegetable garden is growing the most beautiful green grass you could ever imagine! What is up with that?
I guess maybe my black thumb only applies to things I’m actually intentionally trying to grow. Apparently the things I’d prefer not to grow…those I have a greener than green thumb for! Weeds, clover and grass, but only where it isn’t supposed to grow. I’ve been joking that there has to be a great blog topic in this…and maybe even a really super spiritual application. I don’t have it yet – maybe as I ramble it will hit me.
I have found that God very often, if not always, uses the things that are going on in my life to reveal something about my walk with Him. There is no denying that everything does indeed work together to point ME to Christ. When I’m paying attention I see it clearly.
So I will share the biggest issues I have right now…and I’m kind of ashamed to share it, but I’m struggling with trusting that God is going to show me what decision to make regarding my children’s education. How I feel about each option depends on the day and sometimes what time of day…I just don’t know what is best and I don’t know what God would have me do. And there are deadlines and money issues and preparation issues…there are so many things to consider. And, honestly, I don’t know what to do?!
Let me share why this is so silly. Last week my oldest had a change of heart about the college he had chosen. We prayed and can I tell you how God answered!! He showed us very clearly that what my son was feeling was absolutely from Him…and He firmly shut the door to one place and flung open the door wide for him to be able to attend the school he really wanted to go to and even provided a scholarship! God is so good. SO, why am I struggling with trusting that He is going to show me what to do? I confuse myself.
I still am not sure what this has to do with my lack of gardening ability. Maybe, I need to recognize that there isn’t a perfect place to grow my children. Maybe God is going to grow them wherever they are – whether it’s in the spot I consider “perfect” or a place I consider not the best at all. You know…I know that. I know that God is going to take care of my children, and yet I’m stressing over it. So what’s new? That’s my S.S.O.P. (Sue’s Standard Operating Procedure)
Eventually when I no longer have any giant decisions to make regarding my children, I’ll probably get it. Although I’m hoping I’ll grasp the concept of trusting God sooner…I mean really trusting Him with all the stuff of my seconds, minutia of my minutes, and drama of my days.
This place where I live is definitely not the garden I’d planned. And yet, I’m flourishing. I’m growing stronger and even producing some lovely fruit..and even some rather pretty grass.