uptomytoes

Category: strength

  • The Dearest of Words

    Sun has set. Moon has arrived. Slowing down. Climbing under blankets, pillows plumped and primed. Soft knock and that dearest of words, “Mama?” “Yes Love?” “Talk?” “Sure” Reshuffling pillows up. Rubbing eyes open. Patting blankets. Climbing up. “Mama, what do I do?” Oh, how I wish I had the answers. Father, what do I do?…

  • Counting It All Good

    One Sunday when I was in my early teens, my mom and I sang a song together at church. I remember how nervous I was while I waited in the front pew for the end of the Scripture reading. Mom and I walked up together, stood behind the pulpit, placed our hymnal down, and waited…

  • Audacious Love

    My phone was dinging with texts the other night from one of my dear ones who was dealing with some disappointment. I was writing essay-like texts to encourage and love on my sweet child.  At one point, I texted “Life isn’t about what we get to have or do or even who we get to…

  • Redeemed, Restored, Resting

    I grabbed a whole row because my sweethearts were coming in behind me. I laid down my jacket, my purse, my Bible, my journal, and a few bulletins throughout the row to make sure I had enough seats. As they all filed in, I felt my smile grow bigger and bigger. These beautiful young people…

  • Everything is OK

    There is a stump where a big beautiful oak tree used to stand tall over the river. We called it “Grandpa’s Tree” because my dad used to like to sit under it and quietly look out at the water. It’s a special spot for our family. We miss my dad and now we miss the…

  • How Honest Do I Really Need to Be?

    A few weeks ago I felt convicted that I needed to share more – write more. And I knew that to some degree it would be a humbling experience because my life is messy, crisis-prone, exhausting, and somewhat embarrassing. Last night something happened that tends to happen a bit more than I’d like lately, and…

  • A Safe Place to Let Go

    You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word. Psalm 119:114 One of my daughters gently opened my door in the middle of the night and said, “Momma, may I sleep in your bed?” I’m a super light sleeper so I instantly woke up, threw back the covers, and welcomed her…

  • When You Just Want to Hide the Hard

    This past weekend I planted 7 large bushes. Digging the holes ‘bout killed me. I was determined to get through all the roots, rocks, and clay. I jumped on that shovel like my life depended on it. Wrestled those shrubs out of their buckets and into my hard-fought holes. Filled back in the edges with…

  • Be Who You Already Are

    I was sharing with a dear friend some hard things that were happening and she texted me this, “God will provide abundantly and be your Bridegroom. He is King. Be His beloved.” Gentle but powerful words that went straight to my heart.  In those words I heard, “Be who you already are.”  I am Beloved.…

  • Following the Conductor

    There is a rhythm to life now. Although I’m still a tad awkward, I think I’m getting the hang of it. My life like a musical score with all its high notes and low notes and harmonies and minor clashes and key changes…it’s beautiful in its unpredictability and challenging in its complexity. Still, it is…