Month: July 2013

Am I Really a Wimp?

/ Sue Birdseye / 2 Comments

Girl Jumping on BedThere was a time in my life when my ex-husband and I would joke about our lack of sleep. Our little saying was, “Sleep is for wimps.”

I’m here to say….I’M A WIMP!!!

I want sleep so badly…so very badly. I can’t remember the last time I got a really truly good night’s sleep. I even tried to take sleep aids one night and it made me jittery instead of drowsy…I ask you, how fair is that?

When my husband left I didn’t get sleep because I was a wreck all the way around. Sleep just wasn’t really an option.

My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest. Psalm 55:4-8

When I became a full-time working single mom sleep was difficult because there was simply so much to do.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30


And now that I’ve been a single mom for more than 4 years, I’m still finding sleep a challenge.

She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household… Proverbs 31:15

Not to sound cliché, but it just seems if it’s not one thing it’s another.

I’ve had a lot of friends tell me that I have to get some sleep…I know, believe me, I know. I just can’t figure out how.

Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed… 1 Corinthians 15:51***

Small children have middle of the night bad dreams or itchy bug bites. Big children want to have late night conversations (and so do I). Friends would like to catch up (and so would I). Websites have deadlines. Thoughts continue even with my head on the pillow – decisions loom, concerns about my kids, and issues, issues, issues…Prayers are uttered continually as I seek guidance, hope and peace.

Thus says the LORD: Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16

I’ve spent the evening looking at scripture about rest and sleep. The first one is in Genesis, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man…” (2:21) Deep sleep…ahhhh….bliss. I might pray for that deep sleep tonight! But there are many other verses that absolutely inspire me…verses that remind me God is the author and provider of true rest, and of how gracious God is to take care of me even throughout my sleeplessness.

Graciousness is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful. The LORD preserves the simple, when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. Psalm 116:5-7

Maybe part of my problem isn’t lack of rest, but lack of trust. I’ve had moments of forgetfulness… I’ve forgotten how gracious God was to me…how He took care of me and my children…how He continues to take care of us. He has dealt bountifully with us, truly.

And maybe all those issues, issues, issues I talked about, maybe those are things that I shouldn’t be worrying about so much.

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

A friend once shared with me the idea that Jesus teaches us to pray about our daily bread not about tomorrow’s bread. How do I know what tomorrow will bring…or, honestly, if there will even be a tomorrow? So why do I spend today’s precious moments worrying about tomorrow’s unknowns? I could maybe take some of those thoughts captive and not go there. I could just stay here…here in TODAY.

I think staying “in” today might enable me to sleep tonight.

Today is almost over – and not to sound like Scarlet O’Hara, but TOMORROW I’m going to try to be in the day…enjoy the day as the blessing it is…keep my eyes open for things to be thankful for…and maybe let go of some worry about the day after tomorrow…because God’s got it…He always has it.

I’m taking a deep breath as I write…and I’m thinking that tonight I’m going to try to go to bed early, ask my Heavenly Father for some lovely deep sleep, thank Him for the day, and give the next to Him to handle and then I’m gonna snuggle under the covers, close my eyes, and rest in the knowledge that my Father loves me more than I can imagine. No “wimpiness” in that!

The fear of the Lord leads to life;
then one rests content, untouched by trouble. Proverbs 19:23

***That verse was totally taken out of context…using it just for fun! I know God has a sense of humor and He gets my jokes even if no one else does !

Family Matters Blog – Faithfully Facing the Future

/ Sue Birdseye / Leave a comment

Family Matters Blog – Faithfully Facing the Future

Just wanted to share my newest blog up at Family Matters!  I hope you enjoy it!

I’m currently visiting my parents – trying to offer some encouragement to my Dad and help my Mom as best I can with all my children in tow!  She is a dear to put up with all our “assistance”!!!

This post is about my kids more than my parents, but I’m finding there are definitely things I need to place in the Lord’s hands concerning my extended family as well.  I know many of us are in that place between parenting young children (and/or lots of children) and helping our parents as they grow older…God meets us in the middle of it all!  He is so gracious to love us in so many ways! 

God is good all the time!  ALL the time God is good!

In His Care,

Sue

Am I a minute from angry? Or a minute from peace?

/ Sue Birdseye / 4 Comments

iced tea photo“Momma! Look there’s a tea with the word Relax on it! You should get that!”

“Yes. Yes I should!” I replied.

And although the tea is very yummy and I’ve had several glasses, it has not helped me relax…or I’m just too stressed for words or tea or anything…

I hate being stressed.

I can feel it. It’s an air of impatience…an attitude of annoyance…and a minute from angry.
In the car today my 7 year old kept asking me questions. And each sentence started with “Mama?” And my response was not, “Yes sweetie?”
It was more like a very testy exasperated, “Whaaattt?!”

I’ll give myself a little bit of leeway being that I was driving in traffic on I-95, but really I don’t deserve much at all. I have darling children…even when they are being stinkers.

I have no excuse for being such a fusspot.

My poor children. Even when they were good today, I wasn’t the sweet momma I like to be. And when they were naughty…yikes!!! Everyone DUCK!!!!
And all this fussiness has made me think of how easily it is for me to apply scripture to other people and even to circumstances, but I sometimes forget to apply it to myself especially when I’m persnickety.

So I’m preaching some gospel to myself…

In the past I used to pray daily that God would fill me with the fruit of the Spirit
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to
Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit,
Let us also walk by the Spirit. Galatians 5:22-25

But then I realized that I already have the fruit of the Spirit in me because I already have the Holy Spirit and He comes with all those beautiful qualities. It’s my choice whether I live them out loud or not.

If I couldn’t do it God wouldn’t say to us through Paul:

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling
to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing
with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3

There are some words in there that really convict me…humility, gentleness, patience, love, unity, peace…all words I want to describe my parenting, my family, and my home.

Humility to set aside how bad my day is going so that I can be a kind mom. Just because I’m the stressed out parent doesn’t mean I get to take it out on those precious children God gave me.
Gentleness in my speech and attitude with my children. I’m modeling behavior to my children. I’d love for them to treat each other with more gentleness. I believe that will start to happen more regularly when they see me speaking calmly, kindly, and tenderly.

Patience being my response to all those silly frustrating things that happen when you live with 5 other people. Probably should have taken a few deep breaths before I responded to my children’s disobedience or just plain childishness.

Loving my family even when they aren’t exactly the easiest people to love…goodness knows I needed some of that love today. That verse “bearing with one another in love” means accepting each other and loving one another even when we are not acting lovable.

Unity…being united in our love for one another and our love for the Lord. Being willing sometimes to put aside what we want or how we feel to bless someone else.

Peace is the tone I want to set for my home. Peace that God is with us always…that He will give us strength for the day and hope for tomorrow.

I feel a little better just having opened the Word and reminded myself that I’m not a victim of my emotions or feelings. I can choose to trust that God has equipped me to live a life that pleases Him even on my fussiest of days.

Wading Into the Waves Holding My Savior’s Hand

/ Sue Birdseye / Leave a comment

Wading Into the Waves Holding My Savior’s Hand

Just saw that my newest blog is up at MomLifeToday.  I hope you enjoy it.

I’d also like to ask for prayer as I begin a new book proposal!  Working on Chapter 1…draft number 1,365,279…just kidding, it just feels that way! I’m so excited about the idea and I feel such a passion to share what God is showing me!  Can’t wait to see what God does with this!

Praying each of you has a wonderful, wonderful weekend filled with unexpected and beautiful blessings!

In His Care, Sue 

Snoozing Times Four

/ Sue Birdseye / Leave a comment

Get Up

Today I pushed snooze 4 times and then took a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.  I woke with a throbbing headache.  Not a stellar day…

On top of that I’ve been trying to give up my coca-cola addiction and I completely fell off the bandwagon.  Ugh. 

Although I do have to say, I completely enjoyed my ice cold Coke!  Yummy!

I think life is catching up with me.  I’m soooo tired…even the caffeine from my soda fix did not relieve the exhaustion! Or the headache.

Sometimes thoughts can cause so much pressure in my head.  I believe that is the source of my headache…too many thoughts.

I’ve often said that I overthink things…I don’t believe I’m overthinking at this point.  I think there are too many thoughts in my head to overthink them…I can’t even begin to address them all. 
How do I effectively deal with all I need to deal with when my head is in such tumult?

The verse that has come to mind most often lately is:

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock.  Isaiah 26:3-4

I just love these verses!  Perfect peace – how could I not want that? 

Perfect?  I can’t even wrap my brain around that…one of my favorite verses is:

The fear of the LORD leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.  Proverbs 19:23

I do not believe that God is saying that we will have a life without trouble because He tells us in John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I do believe that regardless of the trouble we encounter in our lives, we will be untouched at our core. I will have peace because I trust Him despite and through the storm.

We will have a life of peace…perfect peace…despite the trouble because we have the Lord. 

If my focus is on Jesus not my circumstances my life is so much better.  If my mind is stayed on Him I am not overwhelmed by difficulties. 

It reminds me of Peter walking on the water…as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus he was actually walking on the water.  It was only when he took his eyes away and looked at the waves that he began to sink. 

I want to keep my mind stayed on Jesus.  I want to keep my focus on Him mentally, emotionally and spiritually with a laser-like focus…I want to settle down and be with Him.  I want to reside in His presence not just visit for a moment.  I want to dwell with Him. 

With Him, is peace.  With Him, is rest.  With Him, is hope for today and hope for tomorrow.

My hope for tomorrow is that I don’t hit that blasted snooze button so many times and that it is a headache-free day! 

But I’m choosing to focus on Him anyway so snooze or no snooze, I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

Prayers Post

/ Sue Birdseye / Leave a comment

Bedtime Prayers…Anytime!

Thank you so much for all YOUR prayers!  I’ve been blessed by all your sweet encouraging words and prayers as my family deals with my Dad’s failing health!  God has been so very gracious and kind to us all!  It’s very difficult but His faithfulness abounds! 

Thank you again!

I hope you enjoy this post for MomLifeToday.  🙂

In His Care,

Sue

hospice, hope and healing

/ Sue Birdseye / 17 Comments

Daisies on white

“Momma, I don’t want grandpa to die, but I know he will feel so much better in heaven.”

My sweet 12 year old son uttered those words as we sat in an Urgent Care waiting to see the doctor for the two of us, and while my father lay in a hospital bed waiting for word from his doctor.

Today we found out that those words were not the ones we hoped to hear.  Those words included “hospice.”  Earlier in the week I had said that word, but it was in a hopeful sentence, “At least they haven’t mentioned hospice.” 

Now they have and I don’t know what to do with that word.  It strikes a pain in my chest I can hardly bear.  It brings me to tears just thinking of my dear father facing death so imminently. 

My daddy accepted the Lord about 10 years ago, but has not truly grasped what it means to him.  Oh that he could grasp grace and not let go of it.  It breaks my heart in more pieces than I can say that he hasn’t.  I can see the fear and anxiety etched on his beloved gaunt face.  I can hear it in his frustrated, angry words. 

We have all talked with my dad.  Friends have too.  We’ve tried to encourage him in his faith, but it’s hard when death is staring back so relentlessly.  I long for my Dad to see life instead of death…Life!!! 

I’ve dealt with a lot of pain and sorrow since my family fell apart 4 years ago.  There is a large part of my heart that is already in heaven.  I want to be there so badly I can taste it sometimes.  I understand Paul’s statement, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.”  (Philippians 1:21)  But I am not faced with my death coming soon…at least that I know of.  I pray that my hope would not waver in the end. 

My Daddy’s hope is wavering…it’s wobbling all over the place.  I wish I knew exactly the right words so he could really grasp that peace which passes all understanding to guard his heart and his mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7), but once again, God is reminding me that I’m not the one in charge.

God loves my dad so very much.  He doesn’t want this man to die hopelessly, but rather with hope of eternal glory…of all the wonder that is heaven blissfully beckoning. 

We all selfishly want healing or even partial healing so that my dad will be around longer.  But like my little boy said, why would I want to have my dad suffer another day when he could know true and complete healing in heaven?  I know the answer but I can’t bring myself to write it because I want my dad around.  I want my children to know their grandpa even better…I want him to tell stories we haven’t heard or even ones we have. I want more time with him.

Tomorrow I will head back down to see my dad…to spend the day with him while things beep and swish around us and nurses come in and out and in and out and in out, and he tries to rest amid it all.  I will pray for the opportunity to encourage and bless my dad…and I will pray for peace for him and for all of us…and I will hope in the Lord for my dad’s eternal inheritance and mine as well.