I’m here to say….I’M A WIMP!!!
I want sleep so badly…so very badly. I can’t remember the last time I got a really truly good night’s sleep. I even tried to take sleep aids one night and it made me jittery instead of drowsy…I ask you, how fair is that?
When my husband left I didn’t get sleep because I was a wreck all the way around. Sleep just wasn’t really an option.
My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness; I would hurry to find a shelter from the raging wind and tempest. Psalm 55:4-8
When I became a full-time working single mom sleep was difficult because there was simply so much to do.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
And now that I’ve been a single mom for more than 4 years, I’m still finding sleep a challenge.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household… Proverbs 31:15
Not to sound cliché, but it just seems if it’s not one thing it’s another.
I’ve had a lot of friends tell me that I have to get some sleep…I know, believe me, I know. I just can’t figure out how.
Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed… 1 Corinthians 15:51***
Small children have middle of the night bad dreams or itchy bug bites. Big children want to have late night conversations (and so do I). Friends would like to catch up (and so would I). Websites have deadlines. Thoughts continue even with my head on the pillow – decisions loom, concerns about my kids, and issues, issues, issues…Prayers are uttered continually as I seek guidance, hope and peace.
Thus says the LORD: Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. Jeremiah 6:16
I’ve spent the evening looking at scripture about rest and sleep. The first one is in Genesis, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man…” (2:21) Deep sleep…ahhhh….bliss. I might pray for that deep sleep tonight! But there are many other verses that absolutely inspire me…verses that remind me God is the author and provider of true rest, and of how gracious God is to take care of me even throughout my sleeplessness.
Graciousness is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful. The LORD preserves the simple, when I was brought low, he saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. Psalm 116:5-7
Maybe part of my problem isn’t lack of rest, but lack of trust. I’ve had moments of forgetfulness… I’ve forgotten how gracious God was to me…how He took care of me and my children…how He continues to take care of us. He has dealt bountifully with us, truly.
And maybe all those issues, issues, issues I talked about, maybe those are things that I shouldn’t be worrying about so much.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.
Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34
A friend once shared with me the idea that Jesus teaches us to pray about our daily bread not about tomorrow’s bread. How do I know what tomorrow will bring…or, honestly, if there will even be a tomorrow? So why do I spend today’s precious moments worrying about tomorrow’s unknowns? I could maybe take some of those thoughts captive and not go there. I could just stay here…here in TODAY.
I think staying “in” today might enable me to sleep tonight.
Today is almost over – and not to sound like Scarlet O’Hara, but TOMORROW I’m going to try to be in the day…enjoy the day as the blessing it is…keep my eyes open for things to be thankful for…and maybe let go of some worry about the day after tomorrow…because God’s got it…He always has it.
I’m taking a deep breath as I write…and I’m thinking that tonight I’m going to try to go to bed early, ask my Heavenly Father for some lovely deep sleep, thank Him for the day, and give the next to Him to handle and then I’m gonna snuggle under the covers, close my eyes, and rest in the knowledge that my Father loves me more than I can imagine. No “wimpiness” in that!
The fear of the Lord leads to life;
then one rests content, untouched by trouble. Proverbs 19:23
***That verse was totally taken out of context…using it just for fun! I know God has a sense of humor and He gets my jokes even if no one else does !