home

Blissfully Aware

/ Sue Birdseye / 2 Comments

clutterSomeone shared with me recently that if a fire fighter trips and hurts himself while trying to save you from your burning house, you can be sued…for a lot of money.

I’m not sure why my friend shared that with me…well, maybe it was a subtle encouragement regarding the clutter in my home.

Golly, I hope my house doesn’t catch on fire ’cause I’d get sued for sure!

There’s just something about the hallway upstairs…it’s full of tripping hazards. Laundry, books, baskets of odds and ends, piles of dirty clothes, towels (damp and dry), an occasional doll, parts of games, sometime a pair of shoes or just one, and a basket of a ridiculous amount of odd socks.

The most confounding thing is that my children are oblivious! Honestly, I believe it’s all invisible to them. What is that?

And why don’t I have it?

What a blessing blissfully unaware would be!

Unfortunately I’m exceedingly aware of the messiness and all the tripping hazards…and it’s driving me bonkers.

Of course, being driven bonkers implies that it’s my destination…I think bonkers is the vehicle I’m riding in.

I just can’t figure out if I’m driving it or riding in it!

I’ve always wanted an organized, beautiful home. Who doesn’t?!
In the past I wanted order in my home for different reasons. I wanted our home to be a restful place for my husband when he returned from work and for my children to know the joy of a peaceful environment. I also wanted to be able to offer hospitality on a whim.

Now I want my house to be nice because I don’t want to lose any more of my mind….really.

This past week has been exceedingly busy and it culminated with the stomach bug hitting. Right now, our house is not as lovely as I’d like. And, to some degree, I’m okay with that.

But on another degree (is that even a saying?) it’s really stressing me out. And it isn’t because people are going to stop by – I’m pretty sure the flu has stopped anyone from dropping in!

It’s because this life is so crazy…I don’t want my house to be too.

A messy house = a terribly impatient mother.

It’s like I become as messy emotionally and mentally as my home.
I keep trying to point it out to my children but they aren’t getting it.

I’m not sure why because I can certainly tell I’m impatient and irritated easily.

Maybe this is another case of them being blissfully unaware.

Maybe I need to be a bit blissfully unaware too.

There was a season a few years ago right after my husband left when I was. I whittled life down to the essentials and the house being immaculate was not an essential….at all.

Essential was defined as loving my children with my actions, words, and time spent together.

In thinking back, I’m realizing it was a choice. I chose to focus on the people in my life instead of the things.

I want to choose that place again.

I don’t have to be blissfully unaware of my surroundings, but I’d like to be blissfully aware of my children.

My children are much more important than the clutter they create.

I could start by figuring out what absolutely needs to be done and working with my children in a gracious and organized way to get it done!

I could choose to spend time with them rather than spending all my time fussing about the house. Honestly I do feel like I spend all if not most of my time grumping about the house. My poor children!

I could pray that God would calm my mind and heart so I could hear His leading on this. I know He desires me to bring everything to Him and He truly does care about all my silly and not so silly stuff.

Lord, there’s so much to do and I don’t want to be only doing. Father, I want to be momma more than housekeeper. Please help me use my time wisely and efficiently so I can focus on the precious people in my life rather than the things that literally trip me up!

Ducks in a Row? Nope…not even in the same pond.

/ Sue Birdseye / 2 Comments

little duck

You know that old saying about getting your ducks in a row? My ducks aren’t in a row…in fact, I’m sure my ducks aren’t even in the same pond.
I really want them to be…at least in the same pond. Golly, I don’t care about lines. I was never particularly fond of staying in the lines anyway.
But as a single mama I think I might need some lines drawn…some boundaries established.
Lately I’m recognizing a decidedly annoying trend with my children…stepping, no make that leaping across boundaries. My room, my bathroom, my closet, my clothes, my makeup, my socks, my shoes, my jewelry, my papers, my pens, my desk, my computer, my drinks, my snacks, my stuff…all seems to be fair game. No one bothers to ask…no one bothers to put back…no one bothers to thank…but it all sure bothers ME!!!
I got myself into this particular pond. I jumped in when my husband left. I allowed my children to sleep on my floor, my oldest daughter to share my bathroom, and my kids to use whatever they needed out of my stuff. I didn’t do much more than request that they take care of the things they borrowed and put them back properly, but I didn’t really offer consistent consequences unless you count my exasperated nagging as a viable consequence. I wouldn’t because it was a clearly ineffective consequence.
Unfortunately, it isn’t just the little things like borrowing without asking, it’s the big stuff like irresponsibility, disrespect, and laziness that need to be addressed more diligently by me. This is my opportunity to show my children that I take my responsibility as mom seriously, that I desire to respect the Lord by raising His children well, and that I will be persistent in my efforts to train them.
Being a single mom, it’s easy to make excuses for letting things slide…little things. Those silly little things become scary big things quite quickly. I’ve been experiencing that lately. In not training my children well in the little things, I have not equipped them well to deal with the big things.
So here I am…frustrated and a little bit fearful but ready to make some changes. Ready to jump into an altogether different pond and push all my kids in too…whether they want to or not. A friend of mine keeps reminding me that sometimes the best things we can do for our children are the things they least want to do. Amen to that.
Praise God that He is the God of second chances…in life and parenting. I’m praying more diligently, seeking wise counsel more conscientiously, and holding to my convictions more solidly. BUT I also know that my strength to do those things is totally and completely rooted in Christ. I know myself and I’m tired, weak and exhausted. That’s why God tells me:
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Ahhh…rest, easy yoke, light burden…why would I not accept that offer?
With God I know I can make changes in my life and the lives of my children. With God I know that we can become a family that treats the blessing of each other and the material blessings we have with respect. I believe that God is going to do great things in my family…I know that He has faithfully shown me things that need to be dealt with not because He wants to crush me with regret, but because He wants to show me His love and grace as He restores our family.
That new pond…it’s beautiful. There’s even a Lifeguard who delights in watching us splash around together…in a line or not!

Lord, please give me the ability to lay my burden down and pick up Yours. I know I will be challenged daily, I will struggle, but Lord, You are faithful and loving and You will provide all that I need to meet each day with peace and joy. I’m thankful that You show me what I need to work on, what needs to be done, but Lord I’m even more thankful that because of You I am not measured or valued by what I accomplish in a day or how well I do anything. I am Your daughter and I am loved because You made me. Father, please help me raise my children well. Please enable me to be strong, consistent, gentle, loving and graceful with my children. Just like you are with me! In Jesus’ name, Amen.