Sitting by the sideline of my son’s soccer game, I had an interesting halftime conversation. Another single mom friend and I were talking about how we miss being hugged, maybe I should say held. I’m blessed to have many friends who will give me loving hugs. But there is a big difference between sweet friends who hug you hello, goodbye and to comfort, and big, strong arms that hold you tight.
You know the hug I’m talking about? The “I gotcha” hug. The “I care” hug. The “you’re special to me” hug. I’m sure there are more descriptions we could come up with but basically they all have the same effect…the opportunity to rest for a moment in the strong, protective arms of another. I miss it.
As single moms, we carry the burden of all our families’ issues in our arms…and granted our arms are growing stronger with each task before us. But sometimes I’d love to lean into the arms of another. To find some comfort there…to shed some tears on a shoulder…to allow someone else to strengthen me a bit. It isn’t a romantic thing truly. It’s just missing the comfort of strong arms wrapped around tired shoulders.
It stinks being single. The most difficult time in my life was walked on a lonely road…still is. There have been so many times I just want to fall into the arms of someone and beg them to take care of it all. This is where I have to say that Jesus is enough. I have to say it not because it is expected, but because it is true. I can look back over the past 3 years and see that God has held and comforted me. He most definitely has.
I don’t know if I would have or could have verbalized it… I mean said, right then and there, that Jesus was holding me tight. Because it’s in the looking back that I see it. It’s in my journal entries that I sense it.
There are times when I’m simply a mess – when I’ve mushed my face in my pillow and I’m crying out to Him for comfort. And quietly I’ll sense His presence and His peace surround me. I find myself, quite unexpectedly, relaxing and resting in that comfort.
There are those times when something great happens and I really want to have a celebratory hug with someone…but I’ve discovered that all my kids together is a pretty strong hug!
But…sometimes I long for a real, solid set of arms around me. Sometimes I want to let my tears flow hidden in the shelter of strong arms. Sometimes after a weary day, I just want to lean heavily on someone. What do I do then?
God is real and He is strong, but He doesn’t hold me like that…you know what I mean? I don’t mean to sound fussy…I get it. I believe that God gives us what we need. I know He is enough. I KNOW it. He has proven it. I guess this is one of those times that I just gotta step out in faith and ask God to hug me…”Jesus hold me, please.” I believe that somehow or another at the end of the day I will feel held. I will feel comforted. I will feel strengthened and peaceful.
And maybe someday I’ll feel those big strong arms again…and maybe I’ll just have to wait until I’m greeted by the biggest, strongest arms of my Savior! That’s definitely worth the wait.